Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
