i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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