yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
