you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I deserve this hangover.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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