Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
