Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
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