people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
