walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
