how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
