my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
