Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
3 2 1 whiskey
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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