it wasn't lemon gatorade
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
im holly from the hills drunk
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize