He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
