When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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