Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
