We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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