I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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