I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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