Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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