At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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