I love black thongs
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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