Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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