Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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