2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
