Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
