I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
