it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
