I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
