Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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