Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
