Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
