I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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