When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
