he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
