i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
