are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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