seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
