He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
