someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
