yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I am puke
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
