Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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