this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
