Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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