I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
