By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
