i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
