Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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