There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
