he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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