3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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