Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
