I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
