I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
