thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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