I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
