Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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