I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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